Politics and Radar Blips
Washington, DC. Apr. 28th, 2005 ---- The President has a problem. His Terrorism report to Congress is full of half truths, and deception. His Social Security plans are crashing and burning, and his boss's nomination for UN Ambassador has opened a whole can of worms about illegal spying on prominent US citizens.
But Wait! His Aides have just watched a copy of "Wag the Dog" and have an idea. Let's stage a potential terrorism attack and to show his importance, whisk President Bush and King Dicky off to a "Secure Underground Bunker." Leave Congress where they are because they need all their time to ram through the Presidents nominations. It will give the boys the opportunity to get out their guns, raise their missiles and show their wives, girlfriends and male prostitutes how macho they are. Pity Jeff Gannon has left for he could ask a question about how the White House saved freedom and democracy against terrible threats.
So a 600mph cloud was selected, and Secret Service Agents had a Duck available just in case. Although the sky was clear of aircraft and neither Air Traffic, nor investigating helicopters could see anything it didn't matter. This was a "Made for TV" macho thing that was about press coverage of the Commander in Chief being secreted away in a "Secret Underground Bunker", again Mr Bin Laden, "Secret Underground Bunker." Then the, are you ready terrorists, the secret missile batteries ringing the White House, and the Secret Service Agents with pump shotguns and nasty dogs will fan out and protect the lawns. Heaven help any moles or Gophers that peep out of the bushes.
The TV people telling the world about Bush's setbacks were not notified of course. Why bother because this 600mph cloud must not affect the publicity machine before the much publicized upcoming press conference. Don't want to move any Anchors, or TV equipment to safety, in case they won't be back in time to cover Bush's babble.
The surrounding buildings were not alerted, or evacuated because after the missiles down a flaming aircraft, the carnage will reinforce, and justify the President's War on Terrorism. But anyway as this was politics it didn't really matter anyway. Those poor sods can read about it in the obliging Washington Post.
Ah isn't show business great. How much did the audience pay to watch this spectacular, and did it knock fellow Texan Tom Delay's flagrant corruption and ethics story off the front page.
All together now sing, "There's no business like show business......."